LISTEN UP!!!!
If you're coming with us to the octopus party, you need to know a few things. One, don't make any jokes about sushi. It's cringe. Two, don't ask if you can touch their tentacles. We know you're curious because you don't have tentacles, but still. Not cool. Three, it's octopuses, not octopi. If you say "octopi," it's not offensive, per se. But they'll look at you like a clown. These purple sunnies won't slip or bounce while you dance with octopuses and have the best flocking night of your life.
MADE FOR RUNNING
GREAT FOR BEASTING & BIKING
 
Mirrored Reflective Lenses
For Regular Heads or Wider Heads
Best Suited for Reaching New Heights
 
LOOK GOOD, FLY GOODR.
1 NO SLIP
2 NO BOUNCE
3 ALL POLARIZED
4 ALL SPEED
5 FREE MILE HIGH CLUB MEMBERSHIP
 
AN OP-ED PIECE
8 REASONS WE’RE F***ING AWESOME
by Ophelia the Octopus